Posted in Artish

BugFarm TM

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Abode, purveyors of trusted standalone creative suite products, proudly unveils its new online-only Integrated Graphic Design All-Purpose Workflow Solution and DreamCatcher Platform, featuring Intuitive Cyber-Human Interface UX/UI Technology! Introducing Abode BugFarm! BugFarm takes all the self-contained and perfectly logical graphic design, web design, sound and video production apps you’ve grown to love and depend on, and “integrates” them all into a “workflow” “solution” that will make your life as a busy Media Professional “easier.”

BugFarm (Bf) presents a full suite of Square IconsTM that open new programs that you’re not exactly sure what they do. In the new BugFarm “environment,” Abode has gone to great lengths to blur the lines between all of its’ beloved media production tools so that all of them work on every other Abode platform simultaneously, producing every type of asset related to every other type of asset all at the same time, ensuring that none of them will quite work properly on anything except proprietary platforms and do a range of things you never intended or wanted them to do.

Features! Usability! Creative new error messages! More software update download lag times! Cloud storage that you can sometimes access, with all of your assets being confusingly available on all of your design apps at the same time! Or not! Try to find them since they’re not on your desktop anymore! More bugs than the Amazon Rainforest! Hang it up while your server hangs up with massive broadband interactivity! Make sure not to have more than one Square IconTM open at a time! LOL

Need to create some simple and clean poster art for that next school event? BugFarm has “upgraded” your workspace with a bunch of cross-platform buttons allowing you to quickly drop in animation, sound, video, iframes, web and blog content, javascript, css, and cross-publish to all the other Abode apps at once, saving your design in the A-Cloud (not your own computer that would be dumb) and opening up a range of Publishing PossibilitiesTM through dynamic, live-updating content links! Where’s my file? Who cares! It’s in the A-Cloud!

Too much to think about? Too many creative possibilities? Simply too dynamic and too convenient, you say?

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In addition to Abode BugFarm, we’re simultaneously cyber-releasing two additional content creation platforms that will make your tiny head spin!

Abode Automaton Artist (Aa) allows the user to make “Automatic Art” through a series of basic choices. First, put easy-to-understand check-marks next to selections like “Poster” or “Art.” Choose from a customizable  drop-down menu of names like “Chip Kidd,” “Nagel,” or “Salvador Dali.”  Next, slide various cross-faders between “Artsy” and “Serious,” “Lo-Fi and Hi-Fi,” “Silly” and “Business.” Now click on the friendly “GO!” button at the bottom and sit back as Aa automatically produces complex multi-media content for you and cross-publishes to all the latest mass distribution platforms.

You’re a genius! Get hired! Start a blog!

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For those of you who still cling to physical media like Trilobites, Abode is proud to add Old School (Os) to our already confounding collection of Square IconsTM! Old School eliminates distractions from your screen and simulates an old wooden desk, with various Classic ToolsTM laying around haphazardly. Use your “mouse” to click on super-physical-looking classic “media” tools like the “Pencil,” the “Ink Pen,” “Colored Markers,” and get straight on fleek with the “Ruler,” the “Compass,” and even an advanced “S-Curve” tool. Take it to the wall with an add-on package including “Rubylith Film and Exact-O Knife,” “Charcoal Pencil and Paper Stub,” and “Leaky Airbrush.” Our Os package deliberately disables your internet connection while you’re working and plays a selection of static-y talk radio stations until your next smoke break, at which point it secretly uploads your work to the A-Cloud and fixes it.

What are you waiting for? Get cracking with Abode BugFarm, Abode Automaton Artist, and Abode Old School! Download all three and receive a FREE “Mandatory Background Update Service” for ALL your Abode Square IconTM products – it turns your whole screen into a spinning beach ball at random times!

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Author:

Graphic designer / project manager / gardener living in Denver, Colorado.

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